


All The Way Up

by cafephan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Fluff, proposal, warning: lots of references to angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 06:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9059002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: Excerpt; 'Comparison was human nature. But for him, it was much more complex, something which kept him up wondering, pondering, until the sky displayed a beautiful twilight.'Or, the fic where dan comes to terms with what love is and how much he loves his life now





	

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BELATED CHRISTMAS (if you celebrate!)
> 
> Yeah hi my loves so basically I can't sleep and it's 2am as I post this, so I wrote a fic in about twenty minutes and decided to post it because why not, if at least one of you like my ramblings from a half-asleep mind it'll all be worth it don't judge it too hard okay 
> 
> Also it's not a songfic but I did have Shout Out To My Ex on repeat for the majority of time I spent writing this (it's also where the title is from)
> 
> I hope you enjoy bye

Comparison was human nature. But for him, it was much more complex, something which kept him up wondering, pondering, until the sky displayed a beautiful twilight.

With Tate, it was late night screaming sessions, laying still and cold under the duvet, wide awake until the alarm blared through his cracked phone.

With Phil, it was late night talks of hopes and dreams, smiles at past anecdotes and giggles over unintentional puns, wide awake until his eyes hurt from laughing so much.

With Tate, it was hiding, a dirty secret and nothing more than a friend, at least that's how he was made to feel, to think. Laughed at by all the friends he'd come to despise, whilst Tate laughed right along with them.

With Phil, it was obvious, a shameless love and an other half now found, complete. Taken to a Boxing Day family get-together, the whole time holding hands with the one he'd come to love so dearly, whilst his eventual potential in-laws - they'd spoken about it in passing from time to time - smiled fondly and asked where things were going. Shared blushes and mistletoe thrown at them. He'd never been one to turn down tradition.

With Phil, it was beautiful and blooming. Sneaking onto the apartment building's roof in the early hours and dancing in the icy winds, no other purpose than to make every day one to remember, a shared promise. Replacing the other's cereal in the hopes they wouldn't notice, but getting caught in the act and having to repay with cups of coffee and control of the remote control, all the time laughing as if they couldn't believe this was their life.

He genuinely couldn't, he wasn't joking.

Because Phil was incomparable, and it was still something he couldn't comprehend.

One day they could be in bed with a mountain of chocolate beside them with all the time in the world on their side, the next day they could be claiming another joint achievement, the universe smiling down on their bond, unbreakable and oh so enviable.

One day Phil could make a passing comment about marriage, how two characters should just make it official and do the fictional world a favour before he burst, that he knew they were meant to be and he wished they would realise it too.

The next day Dan would be running home with a bulging pocket and a lot on his mind.

With Tate, there were so many words he never said but wanted to, for the sake of his sanity and what he thought was love he kept the biting words locked away, spoken only in a swirling whisper to the unforgiving night air whilst Tate snored obliviously beside him.

With Phil, there are still so many words he has never said, but oh he wants to. He's going to, for what he knows is love and for who he knows is love. He wishes Tate could see him now.

Phil has no clue, scrolling mindlessly on his laptop, greeting him with a smile and a grabby-hand motion. Dan obliges, gently hanging his coat on Phil's favourite dining chair, and falls into his arms, knowing he had found his happy place. With Tate, he thought it was only make believe.

An hour later, they're both crying. Phil's found a compilation of cute puppy fails, Labradors running from helium balloons and Pugs trying to speak and communicate, and passes a casual comment that they should get a puppy someday. Dan agrees, presses a soft kiss to Phil's forehead with the promise of 'when the time is right'. Phil hums in contentment and Dan excuses himself, slipping into the bathroom and taking place in front of the mirror, a rehearsal he never thought he'd be having.

With Tate, he'd grown to not bother to clear up a mess, it would only be replaced hours later after the next argument.

With Phil, he'd forgotten that tidiness was one of his boyfriend's more surprising habits, with the exception of cupboard doors and contact lens pots.

When he came back into the living room with his head held high and his rehearsal ready to tumble from his tongue, he should have known Phil would have moved his coat.

But there was no way he could've known Phil would be a sobbing heap on the floor, head in his hands, the open ring box in front of him.

"This isn't how it was supposed to go..." he sobs as Dan rushes to his side, and Dan freezes, blood running ice cold as it did almost daily with Tate. Unmistakable.

He offers to forget the whole thing, Phil doesn't say another word, just sobs.

Dan slides the ring box to one side, angry at the inanimate object for giving him unjustified hope. Phil lifts his head to watch it move.

Dan sees the box in Phil's hands, and their eyes meet. Phil smiles weakly.

"I was meant to ask you first, all romantic and stuff..." he can't muster anything louder than a whisper, and Dan feels emotion flooding through him, vivid and beautiful. And the clarity is blinding.

With Tate, he'd spent many a night sobbing on the floor, racing thoughts and a mind that wouldn't quit.

With Phil, he's spending a sleepless night sobbing on the floor, a silver band on his finger, shockingly matching identically with Phil's (oh how they'd laughed), racing thoughts and a mind that he prayed would never quit. Because Phil was babbling about table centrepieces, caterers and a five tier cake (for each year he's known and loved Dan), and Dan was internally babbling about matching suits, more matching rings and a future of possibilities.

He pondered into the early hours, until he felt his eyes bat closed, and he tuned into Phil's steady heartbeat and snuggled into his fiancé's chest, and he wondered how anything could ever possibly compare.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please follow me on twitter (bloggerhowell) and tumblr (cafephan) to validate me but also let me know I should never post something so spontaneously again 
> 
> Also I haven't proofread it at all I literally am posting it a minute after finishing it so sorry for any errors but also I think it's a newish writing style I don't know if I like it but I guess half-asleep me likes to take a risk I hope at least one of you liked this...


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